Dear classmates from my graduating class,

I’m sorry I didn’t bother doing anything for my graduation. I didn’t even record one of the little speech things that you all had.

That second part isn’t exactly true, actually. I recorded something, and even then, at 18 years old, I bristled at the idea of saying the expected things. We were supposed to thank everyone we knew, I think, and say something cheerful about the future. Instead I wrote something like “I never really liked the idea of giving thank-you speeches because they feel disingenuous.” I still think that, really, but I’ve learned artful since then. In any case, the administrators didn’t like the message, and said I had to do another one, and I just said that I wouldn’t. For some reason they let it drop.

I wasn’t even at the graduation ceremony. I was in Florida, for a cousin’s wedding. I had no interest in going to graduation anyway, though. One of you thought it was hilarious to call me at four am and ask when I was showing up. I wasn’t sleeping very well because I never do on trips, so I was a little annoyed, and I’m sorry about that, too. I hope nobody missed me. I always assume that nobody does. But it had to have been noticeable. Did they call my name? Did they point out that I wasn’t there? Did they dress someone up like me? I know that when it came time for my section of the video, with the recorded speeches, they just played the music louder.

That part made me happy, at least. I hope nobody was offended. I hope you all had a lot of fun celebrating the end of your high school careers.

Yours,

Rob Mason