I’ve been reading various authors talking about the theory that democratic states never or almost never make war on each other. The theory goes that they will still make war on non-democratic states (perhaps because those states are non-democratic), and that non-democratic states will make war on anything, but that democratic states never attack democratic states. I’d heard this theory before, of course, but this time, reading through it, something struck me about it.

These authors are describing democracy as a plague of zombies.

My thought process here went through two steps, actually. First, I was struck by how like a game of zombies this might be. One of those games where one (or more) person(s) starts as the democratic state zombie, and the democratic states zombies then go around trying to convert infect non-democratic states zombies, and some of the more enterprising non-democratic states zombies might try to throw their comrades under the bus in the hopes of surviving for longer. Some might willingly join the democratic zombie team, because of their love of peace brains.

Of course, I quickly realized that it was like a game of zombies because this also more or less adequately describes an actual zombie plague. The zombies, whatever their starting numbers, have an all-consuming hatred of everything that is not a zombie, and desire to either convert it to their number or destroy it. But zombies, in my mind somewhat confusingly, never fight among themselves. Perhaps undead flesh is not as delicious, or is not nutritious in the least. Perhaps there is an alliance there. Who can say?

In the meanwhile, the survivors cannot be relied upon to band together against the outbreak. Some small bands of survivors might, but by and large it is every man for himself. Some will fight one another. Sometimes this is for survival, sometimes for resources, sometimes because they just don’t like each other. Sometimes they hope that, by appeasing the zombies with a sacrifice of flesh, they will be left alone.

But as modern American thought would be quick to remind you, you cannot avoid the plague forever. Eventually the zombies will win.