As much as I hate actually saying that something good has happened to me, or at least doing so in a way which isn’t ironic and self-depreciating, today (Thursday? whatever) I got an acceptance letter from Northeastern. Via email! Things just happen electronically these days. I expect to receive a copy in a few days in the mail, and then a week or so later a postcard intended for my family, because they appear to have gotten the wrong address for them. This may be because I am, in fact, barely literate and probably entered the information wrong, somehow.

So, two thoughts occurred to me right away. First: it is time to throw that me-themed party. Guests will be encouraged to dress like me (bonus points if they are actually wearing my clothes) and affect my personality and mannerisms. So, you know, snarky, insufferable, pretentious, with excessively theatric gestures and a perpetual slouch. Extra bonus points if you can turn simple questions like “what’s your name?” into a five-minute explanation of the various nuances of your answer to that question. If I actually follow through with this I will appoint an independent panel of judges to judge the impostor versions of me.

Second: I need a new gimmick. I’ve been unemployed and not-a-student for so long that has kind of become my thing.

(I’m just not going to talk about why this letter confused me. I will be glad to go into it, at great length, in person, via email or IM.)